2021: Remembrance Altar
Thanks for the memories.
Damn… 2021 flew by, huh. To speak plainly, I feel neutral, somewhat numb. I don’t feel v chaotic on the inside if that explains things. I feel like me, but also, I’m different, now? IDK. We don’t know each other IRL. I am Roanna, and I am the caretaker at Rosewater. I did something like this, last year, where I recalled wisdoms that helmed my journey during the year and served as personal talismen if you will. I thought to share them here because why not?
I haven’t arranged them in alphabetical order, this time around.
1. Keeping the details to myself isn’t something that came easy to me when I was young and naïve. Not that I’m not those things now, but I see value in not brandishing every little thought out there because I want to or it makes me feel good about myself or feel like: I will be seen. I am learning: to keep what is sacred for myself, to hold myself differently, and not seek to get my emotional needs temporarily met in the outside world.
2. Feeling the fear and doing it anyway sums up most of my year in 2021. Please note this is far from a cool picture I paint of myself — some transits were really fucking hard, and I almost felt forced by God and the Universe to do what had to be done, no two ways about it. Some of those times led me to sweet relief (and disbelief @ Oh my gosh, I did this) and other times — it didn’t feel great, instantly. Still, hindsight is 2020 or ah, 2021 and I’m glad for those moments of sheer bravery. Or as Professor McGonagall said in the first Harry Potter movie, “Sheer dumb luck!”
3. Endurance-wise, I learned to cultivate, keep and tap into it. I didn’t even know I had it in me, and it pulled me through all of 2021. Of course, I am glad that no matter what went down — I did my best to uphold my self-care and spiritual practice. I couldn’t have lasted without it, that — I know.
4. Tough transits don’t last… Tough people do. My clever little play on words… Humour aside, this, friends, is true. As you will believe it, that is. However this comes off to you, knowing/noting the astrological transits at a time helped me to better understand the energies I was working with. In a way, it aided me in not completely abandoning all cool during a difficult time. It reassured and reminded me that we rarely ever go through these times alone. Cosmic spiritual support, as they say.
5. That we are all tired of wearing masks — emotionally, figuratively and literally — is something I feel in my bones, now more than ever & that doesn’t mean just being soft. I think I reached a Point in my life where I was tired of all the B.S. I put up with, over the years — either through my own actions and indiscretions, or those of others. Returning to the soft factor, this year, on the other hand, saw me communicating in refreshingly inspired ways. I was able to reconnect with long-lost friends, and even when it came to talking to people in the world around me — familiar faces & strangers — it was interesting for me to note that being open, honest, and desiring to authentically connect after a Hermitic (Hermetic?) silence came naturally to me. This communication style also applied to times when I had to be in my utmost truth and communicate difficult things. I recognised, in a big way, that connection means more to me than I understood before. Much as I love my periods of rest, silence & solitude, it was nice to know I no longer felt the need to strictly censor myself or my emotions, or even pretend that Love doesn’t affect or move me the way it does.
This might seem a tad abrupt — I wished to be more succinct (as much as I could) in my delivery. One other truth is that I have repeated some of these things, plenty, in previous essays — particularly those of this year. Should you feel called to read any of those, I invite you to take a look around Rosewater., and see if anything draws you in.
And now for my final note of 2021, and a goodbye…
Remember all it took to get to where you are, today. It wasn’t all for nothing, it never is, and I hope you never forget that.
Talk to you in ’22 ♡
Thank you for reading.
A note: Let it be known that much as it’d be sweet, that you feel welcome here, experiences and views expressed on Rosewater. are deeply, truly, madly personal. (Unless stated otherwise.) Should they strike a chord with your own musings and reflections, that’s lovely, and if not, that’s cool too. This collection contains no facts, solo personal musings and truths.
