Hallows, not Horcruxes
Point me!
When Harry Potter stepped into the Forbidden Forest that fated time to vanquish Lord Voldemort for good and for all, he had with him the Hallows — he had with him his wits and instincts. Mostly, he went in with intuition. I think he believed he would indeed be successful in his mission, there was a part of him though that was prepared for an opposite outcome — or well, maybe, he didn’t even consider it all that much. He knew, he went, and he trusted that he’d do when the time called.
For those of you unfamiliar with Harry Potter, Lord Voldemort is the chief antagonist of the series. A real baddie. I won’t say too much about Horcruxes, just know they are something Voldemort deployed in his favour. In the case of Harry, Hallows are not something he sought out to use in his fight… I can explain them to you in the way I regard them which is that the Hallows are tools Harry could choose to use to his advantage but ultimately his inspiration to act would have to come from him, from within. Does that make sense?
Programming back to Muggle terminology in… 3… 2… 1
Whilst journalling in bed, the other night, and simultaneously scrolling through Twitter — a tweet by Maryam Hasnaa popped up, filtered in and made me go Huh. It seemed to echo what I believe I am starting to feel on a subconscious level but had not put into words yet. What she said is I don’t work hard, I work intuitively and in terms of how I have been operating or showing up, lately, this has been the case for me. I am talking about everything. Day-to-day things. Writing on here for that matter. There are different cups inside of me whose contents spill over and form the essays on this page — offerings and truths, and even though I am invisible at this point, my hope is that someone out there finds these words when they need to.
Considering what it is that I do on Rosewater., my creative process in these last few months has been more intuitive than I imagined or understood, at the time. What I mean is I follow my heart as much as I regularly consult my Book of ideas and imaginings. The seasons guide me, I look to their energies and motifs, and think of topics that make sense for the time. On the other side of it, I began noting that there were motifs outside of me I would come upon via the lyrics of a song, a film’s messaging, something random someone in my life said to me — and it would be those moments when resonance strikes. I love that because it comes about so unsuspectingly, and it happens when I am tuned all the way in (if that makes sense). I could describe this call outside of me as a key for the time that aligns with or fits a lock (truth) inside of me — opening it up, speaking to the consciousness within, leading me to Eureka moments, abound!
In the first half of this past year, I fought hard with surrendering my control over things. Read: Life’s unpredictability. 2020 was about self-care for me. For so long, in developing a self-care practice and finding tools that work well for and with me — I missed accounting for skillfully mastering putting what I learned into practice or ah, play not just considering myself but when challenged to deal/duel with variables outside of me. In caring for myself, tucking into healthier habits, and following guidelines by the book — it slipped my mind that even getting to this point (all these points, truth be told) came from utter disarray.
Going with the flow sounds easy like you’re free-falling into the unknown with no care in the world, or with an underlying belief that you will be cosmically supported. Even so, in learning the complexity of the currents and energies they bring about, I feel one with times past and this season. I sense this ask of me, to surrender to the currents of change. I am learning to be with the moment, no matter what comes of it.
It’s not so much being reliant on energies and transits to know when to act — it’s living and learning. Rigidity, I am noting, is not the most optimum of solutions — how steadfast can I be, rooted to the ground when the water rises, and I am drowning? What helps me understand the waters I contain is acknowledging what comes, and no longer taking roads with a sense of foreboding or because I feel forced — I set off because it feels right, I feel called. I feel a Felix Felicis* moment take hold of me, and it inspires me to take the lead. It’s not something that messes with my sovereignty or discernment and ability to choose and think for myself — it’s my inner compass pointing me to shores that seek me, much as I long to find harbour, haven and home there too.
I figure that instinct and intuition could be related, and in my opinion, instinct is awareness of a thing… Intuition is the voice that inspires you to take action on said awareness. What do you want to do knowing what you now do? That being said, tuning into your frequency takes training and time. Your inner voice is most gentle and subtle. Even when you are actively doing the work to care for yourself better, to manage your emotions and states, it could be a while before it starts to hit.
Looking back at moments in my recent past, and how I began advocating for and trusting myself — it started at silent mode for me. I cut out anything that seemed to have a hold on me (this means things I did too, by the way). One thing I found useful doing was noting the energy of the opponent. Why did it feel depleting or distracting? How does it take away from me, or rather, how does it take me away from me? With time, I got better at knowing what was overwhelming to me in the fact that it could influence my sovereign thinking powers and make me sway. I discovered that as much as I tended to my garden, the more restful I would feel within — even in turbulence. Those silences were a magnet for the visions entering my mind’s eye, seemingly from the ethers. They felt like innate wisdoms, that appeared to funnily form when I least expected or suspected. To work intuitively means I leave my biases and influence at the door.
Cutting to… 2021’s Threshold energy which has been something for many of us. Forcibly ushering us to walk into doors we hoped we had time to tread toward, inviting us to act swiftly at our lowest. Moments like this are gnarly, nerve-wracking, and reminding of the fact that we might do everything by the book or based on our intuition — and still not enough divination tools can aid us when the road cuts or plummets. In that same breath, I thought to myself, Does it mean I only leap when prodded? Not interested. I want my leaps to come from faith too, from innateness that this is what I wish to do, this is what makes me feel centred and at my highest, and I want to feel that joy directing me. No matter the moment of outcome.
*Harry Potter references have been my jam for most of this year, and I love how they make me feel when things align with personal truths. Hallows, not Horcruxes simply speaks to hallows being tools that possess light and shadowy aspects alike (just as any other) and still instill in you that you act from volition, not violence. You are not enchanting entities and objects to speak for you, you are not splitting your sovereignty. Your compass cannot be severed from you, it’s inbuilt and irremovable.
Thank you for reading.
A note: Let it be known that much as it’d be sweet, that you feel welcome here, experiences and views expressed on Rosewater. are deeply, truly, madly personal. (Unless stated otherwise.) Should they strike a chord with your own musings and reflections, that’s lovely, and if not, that’s cool too. This collection contains no facts, solo personal musings and truths.
